Progress

"Where do you see yourself in five years?"

I've always hated hearing that question in job interviews or performance reviews. Truth be told I hate almost all corporate lingo and euphemisms, but this one is especially telling because it shows so clearly the modern American obsession with "progress."

I don't see anything for myself in five years. That's not to say that I don't think I'll have achieved anything or that I will not have made progress of some kind. What I mean instead is that I do not make long-term plans. I don't have it set in my mind that within five years I'll buy a house, start a family, get a promotion, run for political office, or open a small business. My mind doesn't work that way. Those kinds of plans feel like a massive burden to me.

I also don't agree with the normally accepted definition of progress. In America it seems progress is defined as getting a better job with more pay, getting a nicer car/house/boat/grill or some other arbitrary possession, getting a degree or certification in something, or any other number of measurable indicators of objective success. My problem with all of these goals is that they won't necessarily make me happy. They won't make me feel fulfilled as a person or bring me some peace of mind. All they will bring me is more responsibility and stress.

Yet millions of Americans leave their house every day and try to work toward these big goals they've set for themselves. They work crazy hours, juggle bills and paychecks, fake smiles and handshakes, and take on enough stress to drive them insane. But why?

Instead of "where do you see yourself in five years?" perhaps we should ask "where do you see yourself NOW?" Are you happy with your life now? If not, then why not? What do you feel you are missing that would make you happy?

Another good question is "what is progress?" That cuts to the core of the issue for me. What do you define as progress? If you get that great job and the big house and the Mercedes, what then? Will you finally be able to relax and enjoy all of the things you have attained? What toll will that have taken on your life? Why do we feel such a need to be somewhere or someone other than where or who we are?

My definition of progress is looking back on my life and feeling that I am a better person than I was, but not in any tangible way. If I can honestly assess who I am now and be proud of that person, I feel I've made significant progress. If I see a destructive or painful pattern that I normally follow and I decide I'd like to go a different way instead, that is progress for me. These are my indicators of growth and success. Defining progress as anything else seems absurd to me.

The modern American ideal of how we should live our lives seems to be based on quantity masquerading as quality. If you buy into this idea then it would have you believe that you can only be truly happy once you've attained enough things of sufficient worth. Earn enough money and spend it on building a fortress of objects around yourself and you too can have the American dream.

If you do, what then? Where do you go from there? If you actually manage to attain all the markers of success and progress, what will you do with yourself?

Perhaps this is one of the reasons that so many wealthy people are so unhappy. If you base your happiness on always reaching for something better, you will never be happy. There will always be a shinier car, a bigger house, a fancier yacht.

True happiness cannot be attained. You can never reach for it and pluck it from life. Happiness can only come from accepting everything exactly the way it is in this moment. You can be happy right where you are if you stop wishing you were somewhere else. I don't think there is anything inherently wrong with making plans and setting goals if they help you manage your life and work towards things that you'd like to achieve, but if you tie your happiness to a goal set in the future then you are inviting disappointment. If you are in a situation that makes you unhappy, work towards changing it. If there are areas of your life that you would like to improve, make the effort to do so. But in the words of Bob Dylan, "Don't go mistaking paradise for that home across the road."

Do what makes you happy and do it now. The future you keep planning for doesn't exist anywhere other than your own mind and all the time you spend planning for it and stressing over it is time that you could instead spend enjoying the moment that you're in.

I'll leave you with the words of Alan Watts who was able to communicate these ideas so much more succinctly and poetically than I ever could.